I like getting mail. All my bills come electronically now, so mail is actually often a happy event. Especially with my birthday being next week -- I look in my mailbox hoping to see cards (sadly, I've been disappointed so far).
Unfortunately, the people I bought my house from never submitted a forwarding order at the Post Office. Seriously. It's been more than a year, and I still get mail for them, including for the landscaping business they ran out of their garage. About 6 months after I moved in, I came home early because the pond guy was there to fix my filter. Lo and behold, sitting just outside my gate was a brand new filter. Not addressed to me (for the landscaping business), but that didn't stop my pond guy from offering to take it off my hands in exchange for free pond work. Being the honest sap that I am, I said no, and dutifully contacted the delivery company to pick it up and take it back. When I got letters and cards (yes, birthday, Christmas, etc -- they didn't even tell their friends they were moving), I called their realtor to let them know I'd leave them by the gate for them to pick up.
That was then, this is now. When I get their mail, including stuff from their lawyer, their kids' school, etc, I throw it away. I've thrown away birthday cards, even when it feels like they have a gift card in them. Pretty soon, I'm going to start claiming any goodies that show up, regardless of to whom they are addressed - it's cruel to let me see a card in the mailbox, let me get all excited that someone remembered me, and then find out that no one cares it's my birthday.
I have a coworker who receives fan mail because she bought her condo from one of the actresses of The Facts of Life. Yes, that same Facts of Life that went off the air in 1988. Fan mail. Seriously. Anyway, because the mail is forwarded (presumably from an ex-agent) without a return address, there's no way she can get it back to the agent or to the actress herself, so she reads and enjoys it,and shares it with us. Yesterday's letter was from a prisoner. Good fun.
Today I arrived at work and found a FedEx package on my chair. I was excited. Did I mention my birthday is coming up? (Oh, yeah, I guess I did.) I had the scissors in hand to rip it open when I saw that it was addressed to my former boss. Who hasn't worked here since last August. Grrrrr. My first few years, he was an awesome boss, but then we had a falling out, and now I find him to be less than wonderful. Anyway, the point is, why do I have to be responsible for getting him his stupid package? If he's not smart enough to check the address before he orders something, that's his fault, right? But like the dutiful Widget employee that I am, I'll get it to him.
But I damn well better get a birthday present out of it!!
Lover Come Hack by Diane Vallere
6 hours ago